Recently my husband and I decided to kick back and have a movie night. After watching multiple trailers for the latest Academy Award winning movies, we agreed to go with an older flick called “Yes Man.” The storyline of this comedy raised a lot of questions in my mind… After attending a cult-like empowerment seminar, Jim Carrey’s character made an agreement to erase the word “No” from his vocabulary. Instead, he was challenged to say “Yes” to every request and opportunity that passed his way. Throughout the ups and downs he experienced during the course of this lifestyle change, some great things happened. All of it was a domino effect from him making the decision to never say “No” to anyone or anything.
Yeah… that was definitely just a movie. In the real world, you don’t meet the love of your life as a result of letting a homeless man burn up all the battery in your cell phone, and you certainly don’t receive a high salary promotion by loaning out all of your company’s money. In the universe that exists outside of film, saying “Yes” to everything does more harm than good. Nevertheless, there are still people out there who have a hard time saying no. And the few times they muster up the strength to say no, that one word sends them on a long trip to the land of guilt. So to avoid the bad feelings or disappointed looks from others, they find comfort in being a “Yes man.”
Are you in that boat? Are you the one who always tells your friend she looks good in that outfit when you know very well that it doesn’t compliment her shape? Are you the person in your family that often ends up on the raw end of the deal because you’re constantly loaning money you can’t afford to give away? Are YOU a “Yes Man?” The fact is that saying “No” is not a selfish or rude act, no matter what the recipients of that word may try to make you believe. Saying “No” is evidence of knowing your own SELF-WORTH. This does not mean you should never assist anyone in need. The key is to exhibit a healthy balance of saying yes and no to the people and situations that arise in your life. By continuously saying “Yes” to favors and requests made by the same person, you are actually crippling them. Needless to say, that is not helpful to either party involved. When you set your limits and exercise your God-given right to decline, you force the other person to let go of their crutch— which is You! Supporting a scenario where they must learn to depend on themselves alone could possibly be the most helpful thing you can do for them. In the end, it is better than any favor you otherwise would have agreed to. And it may be the one last push they needed, so they can recognize their own hidden ability to be self-sufficient.
P.S. Knowing your Self-Worth is one of the 10 principles of a successful mindset. These 10 life-changing principles are the basis of my “Evolution 7 Day Mindset Makeover.” Learning these principles and applying them to your life is the foundation for any areas of success you are striving to reach. If you haven’t taken the challenge yet, what are you waiting for? I will be taking a bit of a maternity break soon, and I want to help as many people as I can before I go on leave. So make sure you sign up today ---------> http://www.evolution180.net/success
February is usually viewed as the month of Love… that “fantasy” type of love with chocolate-covered kisses, beautiful flowers that grow out of concrete, and breath-taking professions of adoration being exchanged between couples that have chosen to be “soulmates” for the first half of the month. But what happens after the 14th? After the glitter and sparkles start to disappear, and all the “sugar and spice, and everything nice” wears off? Conflict is a natural part of any relationship. It is not something that can be avoided. But it IS something you can prevent from escalating to a damaging level if you handle it the right way. So the question is, Do you know how to FIGHT FAIR? Check out my 7 healthy tips for resolving conflict with your partner, and see how you measure up.
1. Pick your battles. This is a well-known cliché, but it is undeniably good advice. You don’t want your partner walking on eggshells because you get upset about every little thing. In the same sense, it is not healthy to hold everything in and never address your partner when their actions rub you the wrong way. Doing the latter will usually leave you in either a constant state of unhappiness or an explosive argument. You must find a healthy balance between addressing issues and letting some things go; and only you know what that balance is. It is different for everyone.
2. Refrain from insults. Sometimes when we are hurt by something our partner does, we want to find a way to hurt them back. Often, the first thing that comes to our mind is hurting them with our words. Getting even may feel good for the moment, but it will do more damage in the long run. It is like throwing fuel on a burning fire instead of finding a way to put the fire out. Even if the two of you are able to progress long enough to resolve the disagreement, those hurtful insults will linger indefinitely with your partner.
3. Drop your defenses. Sometimes our pride will cause us to listen in a defensive manner, only hearing “You were wrong!” Remember that you and your partner are on the same team. View these disagreements as conversations you are having with your teammate to brainstorm for solutions to a problem preventing your team from being the best they can be. When you look at it from a different angle like that, you can truly make progress.
4. Let go of the “blame game.” If your partner is bringing your attention to something you did, do not turn around and mention when they previously committed a similar act. If their previous actions bothered you, you should have made mention of it when it occurred. Don’t decide to bring it up just because your own faults are being brought to light. Also, be specific with the things you are addressing. If you are going to mention it, be prepared to present real, actual examples of what they did, when they did it, how it made you feel, and why you felt that way. Don’t be vague.
5. Practice active listening. Your goal should be to seek a full understanding of your partner’s train of thought through their words. Don’t just wait for an opening to respond. Don’t spend the entire time thinking about what you want to say next. And definitely avoid interrupting them. Truly listen to your partner’s statements and focus on what they are communicating to you. If you need to pause and think of a response when they are finished talking, do so.
6. Set standards for future incidents. This will answer the question of “What now?” For example, it is not enough for you to let your partner know how a situation made you feel. Your partner may understand your feelings and still not know how to avoid making you feel that way again. Discuss what you would like to see done differently if a similar situation arises in the future. This template may look different for every couple. It is important that your partner is given the opportunity to truly understand how your mind operates.
7. Express your gratitude. Thank your partner for listening and caring enough to try to resolve the conflict or disagreement. By doing so, you are highlighting their positive qualities and acknowledging how many negative ways they could have chosen to respond. This will encourage them to continue being open to healthy means of resolving conflict in the future.
Ahh, the sights and sounds of January... Past resolutions are resurrected, repackaged, and resold, hoping to be unrecognizable to the eyes of loved ones who were present for last spring's burial. People across the world reintroduce themselves to the personal trainers they previously abandoned without warning. Health food stores and fitness clubs are relishing in the new business, already aware that their peaking profits will be back to average in a month or two. The general trend is all too familiar. Welcome to the new year!
But this doesn't have to define your 2016. It can be different. Unique. Against the grain. We don't have to fall victim to every trend that's out there. We can create our own destiny no matter what is going on around us. We can make the decision to NOT be a part of the majority, if the methods of the majority have proven to be an epic fail. We have a choice.
So what will YOU do differently in 2016? What personal or professional goals are you reaching for this year? Once you figure that out, write it down and review it on a regular basis. Start building your support circle and ban the negativity. The "you said that last year" folks? Revoke their invitation to be a part of your audience. Contrary to popular opinion, haters are not motivators. There is life and death in the power of the tongue, so surround yourself with those that speak LIFE into your dreams and aspirations.
But remember, your number one supporter must be YOU! Work on your own belief in yourself, first and foremost. Like a dog can easily sniff out fear, people can always tell if you are doubting yourself. And if you don't believe in you, it will be nearly impossible for others to jump on board. Motivation to reach your goals has to start from within. Yes, there will be fear. There may be anxiety. Those are completely normal emotions that arise anytime you are attempting to make a change in your life. Embrace those emotions, and move past them. You only have one life to live, and there will only be one 2016. So make the decision for this to be your best year yet, and be determined not to drop the ball. There is no better time than the present to unwrap that priceless gift of change!
Investing TIME, ENERGY, and MONEY into your goals and dreams is a must. These are the three main things people use as an excuse for why they have remained stagnant for so long… But ironically, these are the three main things people have MORE of when they are living out their destiny! It is a very small investment in comparison to the lifelong benefit you can expect to receive as a result of your dedication to the process of change. Your ideal life is right around the corner! Don’t allow fear, anxiety, doubt, time, energy, or money to be an obstacle keeping you from your destiny. Happiness is PRICELESS.
To find out ways you can invest into making your life the best it can be, CLICK HERE NOW